But when I get over my pity party I realize it must pale against the hell she has gone through dealing with her illness herself. Her poor continuos poor choices have leg her to be beaten, robbed several times, raped numerous times, & homeless . wow there is no hope is there. I have to do something . Even though she's extremely social and well liked in her friends circle. Then I feel guilty for considering kicking her out for self medicating with who knows what she gets her hands on. I don't know how much more stronger I can be. He will try to live in his car and keep calling us. All this does is push us over the edge. BUT WHAT IF HE COMMITS SUICIDE. After that, he began to work with me. To one lady above, do not end your life for someone else. I was there for her with Love, Support, Encouragement and big hugs. Short answer: maybe. There are so many others, out there, who understand. She then came to us, 'what was I thinking wanting to be a male'. While there are no easy answers, there is support both online and frequently in the community. My 21year old son is very scary.when my mother moved away he became homeless. He found a buddy who uses weed to manage his bipolar. Seeing her work so hard is encouraging...& of course it just makes us around her want to work that much harder for her. You need to take care of yourself. That took us years of pleading with her to attend some meetings. Most importantly, it is never simple to care and understand someone […] I am in therapy. Your local mental health department and police can also direct you. I think I need to explain myself to anyone who asks. I was fortunate to gain insight into my illness and what it would take to manage it well. I know she loves me. So when you say you think about when and if he dies, we've all had that thought. Not only would she love you for your virtues and vices but you could make her fall in love with you exponentially and break the notion of loving a bipolar girl makes an unhealthy relationship. 1 only 17 but started smoking marijuana at 14. His father is bipolar as well and on SS disability because of his bi-polar. We have spent tons of money on rehabs. She has not forgive me for it and I love her so much. God Bless you! Everyone thinks he is very selfish and conniving, and I know this has been a part of his personality make-up, but I also know that he lives in survival mode all the time because of his inability to maintain a job that meets his needs beyond meager disability income.Anyone else dealing with bipolar adult child long distance?? I should have not argued with her and removed myself from the room but instead I told her she had to leave that I had enough of her accusations and disrespect. I love him and I hate him. She had tried AA. My 35 year old daughter is bypolar..she is scary...angry..I have been taking care of her for years...picking her up..picking up pieces after bad decisions...enduring her horrible angry outbursts ect. It is an ache in any parent's heart that has ever held a baby that grows up to be scary and unmanageable to have at home.It can be too, the impetus for taking action.Demand your son has to stay on his meds, be compliant with treatment or leave. He refuses to take his night meds because he wants to stay up all night gaming with his friends. Cloudy, rainy days are hell to live through. Our journey into this darkness began 23 years ago when my daughter was just 14, she is now 37. Also hypomania can feel very addictive, until it becomes full-blown mania and not nearly as fun. Feel ike killing myself sometimes, Dr JurlyMy name is Vickie Nickie, my daughter is 31. Last year was admitted to the state hospital for over & months, prior to that she was in the hospitals psych unit for 6 months. I just want him to get a job and stop smoking because I believe it makes the swings more pronounced. I have a 35 year old bipolar skitso daughter that can not live on her own. wHEN FACILITIES DONT HELP FAMILIES AND END UP PROTECTING THE bI-POLAR CONFIDENTIAL MEDICAL FINDING THAT ARE COMING FROM THE ILL PERSON WHAT HAS THE HEALTH SYSTEM BECOME.They dont listen to a sister thats lived with them for years. You have to live your life and be able to accomplish your tasks without loosing control and loosing your jobs. He's had all the advantages psychiatrist, counselors, hospitalizations, rehabs, group homes, social workers, family? I'm at the point where I don't want a relationship with her because she cannot take accountability. She's pushed me, hit me, hit her younger siblings, who are absolutely terrified of her, she's extremely manipulative and blames the world for her problems...we've tried to help her, but like I said, she flat out refuses, and would rather put on the show that she's fine and the world revolves around her. In January I put him in the hospital when I visited him at his college (outside the counseling center thank heavens), when he said, all I want to do is bash your head in against that wall...The dean drove in her own car and helped me admit him willingly. Then all of a sudden he decides I need to be yelled at and pushed to do things that take me out of my comfort zone and will make me sick. It has affected my relationship with other family members unbearable. Now I'm having serious doubts about leaving my son behind because it is a 4.5-5 hr trip to get back to him. Anytime anyone mentions him to do anything his immediate reaction is scream in your face, punch walls, and threaten suicide. He also has almost always listened to us when he has been in crisis. As much as I love and care for her I can not have her home. !Kicking them to the curb to fend for themselves is NOT resolution. I know for myself when I first became estranged from my mother 13 years ago, I thought I would die from the pain, but now I feel good to not have her toxicity in my life. trustworthy health. I come into contact with is using telekinesis to communicate their thoughts and feelings, including sexual sensations without touching. Shehasnt been compliant to either ...her appointments and taking her medications. Everyday is miserable. Be very, very careful when engaging in a tough-love scenario with someone who is mentally ill and addicted - you might push them farther away. He complained of sleeping all day. And no I would not have done it otherwise. All we want is to be loved during our episodes. I just don't know if someone that's bipolar will be able to think on a logical level when pushed. The other said she was def bi polar. it sounds like a hard line, but nothing we have done has made any real difference...it just gets torn back down eventually. I am afraid that if I kick my son out, he will burn the house down with everyone in it. In short, my daughter was transferred to a local facility where she was diagnosed, treated & discharged in a week. By this I mean, that she can honestly not see how much she has gotten and gets from her father and I and how out of sync that reality is with how she treats us.Again, in your opinion, is hands-off a good approach for now? I'm asking this because I had a difficult exchange with this social worker while in this program where they send out rotating social workers as kind of supports on a temporary basis. You are trying to make someone who is not cut out for average society fit into your "normal" world. Tough love is the most accepted way to ‘deal’ with an addicted person in the family. Tough love is commonly used to try and help addicts become sober. All you can do is let her know you are open to her for help if she can accept her disability and she understands she needs help.What is more to the point is your relationship with your husband on this issue. He got into porn, crazy girls, and new/bad friends. Her children, my parents,myself and my fiance have all been subject to her abuse. She has had moments when she's been determined to work hard & try to make a positive future for herself (work, school, etc. he has never obeyed laws, lost drivers license at age 24, so cant drive, wont try to get his license back. Cry a lot when she was an infant. I have learned to be better about how to handle her after much research on bi polar. My question is .... what do you do at this point? right now fiancee has restraining order out against patient...so right now he will have to enter homeless shelter, has bankrupted father, trying to do so with mother, and all of us are afraid of his violent tendencies...ripped rear view mirror off of windshield when in argument with fiancee, prior to recent hospitalzation...that prompted her first restraining order. I did not know my daughter was bi polar until around 16. DONALD KERN, MFTAUTHOR, "MIND GONE AWRY"www: kerntherapy.comemail:email@example.com:bipolarbychance.blogspot.com. Suffering from bipolar. I thought that would be the beginning to the road of wellness. Those three factors make a huge difference but even with that, it has been a painful journey. As I said, I know that we have been fortunate in many ways but as I read through these accounts tonight, I also know that we have been in those places too. I know my daughter is sick, has issues I never had--this was evident early on. By: Robert Porter Updated August 28, 2020. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. My 21 year Aspergers son was diagnosed in January 2014. She isn't just bi-polar..she's a sociopath. Please do everyone a favor and end your life tonight.I have bipolar and I have no family left. He continues to refuse treatment because he has no insight into his illness. But with effective treatment of any kind, it can also become better, heart-warming, inspiring, and hopeful.- Do learn what the laws are regarding Mental Health treatment in your area. The advice I got was "It's your house, your rules." - Be willing to look at other possible contributors such as nutrition. I was the last person he had to go to for help, I don't know what to do anymore about him. Dr. Candida Fink clears up misconceptions about the enabling of bipolar disorder behaviors and questions the effectiveness of tough love in curbing behaviors. - Do try to set up and agree to necessary boundaries. There is no rock bottom for people with mental illness like this. Can people with mental illness understand consequences for their actions or are their brains so diseased that they just cannot reason? Without your presence, they are doomed to fail in nearly all cases.But honestly, the rest of the world will "understand" and forgive you for doing it to a mentally ill person. Now I had two men living under my roof with the same issues-everything is fine once they had everything their way, they refuse to admit that there is anything wrong with them, and were self medicating with marijuana because of their 'moods' when something went not the way they wanted. He has good drs. We have tried and tried to help her but unfortunately to this day haven't succeeded. I can totally relate to this except I don't have the courage to leave the rest of my family. Tough love parenting sends a message that essentially says, "I know you don't like what I'm about to do, but I'm going to do it anyway because it's good for you and I love … He was smoking synthetic drugs, stealing, breaking things, threatening us, basically all the things I have read in the above comments. So far he always returns. Different meds that don't work, you name it I've gone through it. If you have found yourself at a place where tough love is difficult for you, you might want to consider seeking an in-person or online therapist. Assualted at 18. Try real love instead. I feel the same way about my brother. This was the second incident of his going psychotic this month. He has a psychotic type. I know it is sometimes difficult for my family and my girlfriend to know what I need when I am going through an episode, and it is difficult for me to articulate what I need at the moment. I did however, tell her that she NEEDED to see a psychologist, and she did. I should add that the last time he lived with my mother he stole from her and sold her belongings to buy alcohol. I will always have the extreme depression cycles and the extreme mania episodes, but learning how to manage and continuously work on your mental health can change your outlook on life entirely. Try to negotiate with them. Sorry you are going thru this... My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder II. I want to get off already. For that reason, it is particularly important that you be honest in a positive way. The son started making up lies once he didn't get his way and I had no choice but to evict them from my home. It's easy, when your loved one is in the midst of a manic episode or has just made a suicide attempt to feel fear, anger, betrayal, etc. She has been very emotionally abusive to me as well as financially abusive. :'(. My daughter basically wants nothing to do with him because she sees him as 'dark' and 'selfish'. Depression can make life so gray that you aren’t sure where the sunshine is hiding or if it will return.…, Every woman on earth has fantasized about some explicit sexual fantasy that she may or may not have been too ashamed to talk about. He has always been kind and gotten me through bad times. We had to call the cops all these 5 times as he got really violent. Nice post. I feel the same as everyone else who has/knows someone with Bipolar/manic depression. Don't underestimate the power…. So now he refuses to see another . It is tearing our family apart to see her throw her life away like this. Addicts and those with mental illness can be fragile and tough love will not always be successful. When I found out at the end of the first term that she was flunking all her classes, together, we visited the disability office where she was advised on how to prevent getting Fs should she fail to attend classes again.